A skill set called leadership.

Are leaders born or developed? This has always intrigued me as I believe that a bit of both applies.  Some people have natural leadership skills, and yet there are those who can be trained to develop leadership skills to the point where they could function as able leaders.  But great leaders, now that's something else. One site lists the following skills as being essential to being an outstanding leader:


Ten Basic Skills of Outstanding Leadership


• Integrity
• Vision/strategy
• Communication
• Relationships
• Persuasion
• Adaptability
• Teamwork
• Coaching and Development
• Decision-making
• Planning

And I would have to agree.  A great leader will encompass all of the above in his/her leadership skills base to be most effective when guiding a team or workforce towards predefined goals. A great leader not only embodies these skills but lives them and thereby is an active example of what good leadership is about. In my opinion the greatest leader I've encountered has to be former president Nelson Mandela.  I know it's become almost cliche to use our beloved Madiba as an example, but he stands head and shoulders about anyone else in this sense, and remains the one person I most strive to emulate.

"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read" (Frank Zappa)

What utter shit! Sorry, but this one really got my goat up. What an arrogant, ridiculous statement. Any journalist worth his/her salt will succeed in gripping the interest of a reader through a well-written piece where all the journalism principles that apply would have been incorporated prior to the material going to print. By denigrating the efforts of rock journalism implies that rock journalists are lesser beings, and horror of horrors aim their work at people who are even lesser still.  Like journalists in any other realm, rock journalists have to know their onions for their efforts to be believable and well received by their rocker audience.  So the next time some idiot thinks they can castigate rock journalists willy-nilly, I say "to hell with them, rock journalism rocks the world of rockers - big time"!!!!

List your top 200 achievements.

Really?! Top 200 achievements - now this is going to prove challenging I thought as I stumbled onto this blog topic. Wouldn't it come across as being rather boastful? But then again, why not? We humans are so good at pointing out our myriads of faults and failings and seem to have very few qualms of doing so in even a public sense. In fact, the denigration of achievements rather than the celebration of such has become a national past time.  So, I am heartened to be able to document my top 200 (though it could be said that I don't think I will come even close to that figure since my life is ever-evolving and my path is set to clock up many more as I continue on my journey). But, for the sake of posterity here are some tidbits that rank high thus far.

1) Being wily enough to guide a certain egg cell towards a certain sperm that ensured the creation of wonderful me. My being born has meant the world is a better place. LOL
2) Marrying my soul mate and bestest (for my own purposes, not spelled incorrectly) friend
3) The birth of my own two wonderful children
3) Maintaining childhood friendships into my adult life
4) Not only successfully achieving the National Diploma in PR but doing so Cum Laude (even though I had to fight for that one due to an oversight at CPUT)
5) Letting my world understand that I matter
6) Making myself understand that I matter
7) Hosting big events successfully (putting these babies together is no mean feat)
8) Starting and developing a softball team
9) Playing softball at age 43 (you have no idea how big this one is, what with a much maligned body that stubbornly refuses to co-operate)
10) Having the stamina and the will to continue studying
11) Being made head girl at high school
12) Standing proud and not denying my child when said head girl badge was removed after it was discovered I was a teenage mom (up to now the finger still goes up when I think of that conversation with that pompous, judgmental principal and her staff who thought I was a bad example to my fellow school mates)
13) Getting my driver's licence (shame the poor driving instructor was a candidate for a heart transplant after the ordeal I put him through)
14) Receiving the Chairman's Award at the Vikings 2011 Softball Presentation
15) Receiving numerous other awards in the softball fraternity over the years
16) Being a member of the LOC for the Junior Softball World Cup scheduled for later this year
17) Getting to grips with social media to the point where I am now an active tweeple and blogmeister
18) Forming a word in on-line Scrabble with total points of 145
19) Setting the platform for a life filled with simple pleasures
20) My girls' network (they've seen me through many a dark patch and celebrated my joys and achievements with equal gusto)
21) Making my parents proud of me (sadly, they've passed on but knowing that I can tick off the above list is testimony to all they've instilled in me)

What motivates me?

Oo, this is a goody! There's so much that can be said for I am a highly motivated person.  But what really gets my buzz up? Well, let me list them - 'cos that's the other thing, I'm big on lists:

1) Seeing the joy that unfolds when people are kind to their fellow man
2) The well being and security of my family
3) The need to feed my ever-inquiring mind
4) Being inventive with my very busy schedule to secure that precious (and mostly elusive) 'me time'
5) That feeling of satisfaction after completing a particularly difficult assignment
6) Getting good grades
7) Ensuring my children understand and appreciate the value of a good education
8) Traveling and exploring new places, people and cultures (setting a goal of visiting at least one new place a year)
9) Instilling values, morals and a sense of tolerance and respect for others in my kids and seeing them apply that successfully to their everyday lives
10) Being a good example to my kids based on point 9
11) The idea that I can make a difference to not only my own existence but to the lives of those I engage with
12) Lazy Sundays with my family
13) Awareness and active involvement in my world
14) Financial security
15) Emotional growth and development of self
16) The blessing and gift of each new day (just waking up to a new day is inspiration enough - I think when you've come closing to losing it more than once, you have a whole new take on the meaning of life and how precious it is)
17) Simple acts of love
18) Love songs
19) Food (oh, I'm a sucker for good food)
20) Friends and family (nurturing the bonds that are formed with people who add meaning to my life)
21) Humour, the balm to my soul
22) Chocolate (ok, maybe that could fall under food - but I think it deserves its own point 'cos that little velvety yum-yum can motivate me to do far more than the other points combined)

Okay, I'm going to stop now before I get carried away.  And believe me, there is a real possibility of that happening.

Write a list: the 10 most unexpected consequences of being online.

Sjoe, this one had me going for a while. My first take on it was that the benefits or disadvantages should be pretty obvious so why even get into it. With more headscratching though I realised my initial thoughts were rather arrogant and there was more to it than I thought.  What was also interesting was that my list kept on growing longer and longer and documenting just the required 10 did not even begin to give justice to the topic. So here's my ten (cents) worth:

1) Removing that hair-pulling frustration of having to stand in endless queues at banks or the lines of creditors, ranks way up there as a big plus.  What a joy to deal with transactions and payments at the mere push of a button.  Orgasmic, I tell you.

2) Oh, and finding those so-called 'long lost friends and family' on social media sites - you know the ones, those 'hotties' from high school or some other purposefully forgotten walk of life who were too damn beautiful, clever, or popular for their own good (least of all yours), that us lesser mortals at the time were told were destined to be the next best thing.  Well, here's the thing - those 'hotties' we discover from looking at their pics and profiles are now the 'notties'.  Yes, there is a God!

3) A big downer is the ever-growing number of corporates out there that ply their trade online and insist on bombarding us with their many products and services, regardless of whether we want or welcome them.  There's no getting rid of these buggers.  Not even the CPA can keep this consumer ill at bay.

4) My other pet hate are those annoying chain mails. If I get another email telling me how my luck will change or how I am guaranteed to win some amazing prize if I pass the offending scribe on to 10, 20 or even more unsuspecting people, I can not be held responsible for my actions!

5) Being able to contact friends and family at the mere flick of a switch far outweighs any downers though.  For one with a son who is far away from home for 7 of 12 months each year, having Skype, email, or other social networks as a means of connecting with him is invaluable. Even having an online skinder with my daughter at the hairdresser is such a pleasure.  How else will we get to make fun of the 'ouma Issie's' and 'nuttos' we encounter on these little excursions of ours?!

6) The cloak of anonymity when used online can be a double-edged sword though.  I am constantly amazed by the very many outrageous thoughts and deeds floating around in cyberspace.  Some of it hilarious.  However, the sparkle loses its glare though when insidious means are propagated behind a devilish cloak. People have castigated others on line, been cowardly enough not to take ownership and the consequences in some instances have been dire, and even deadly in others.

7) Freedom of Speech - oh, I love this one.  Despite, loads of threats of laws to protect both communicators and audiences, how on earth will there ever be a way to ensure that happens?! Come on, get real. Must say that I love that I can take the piss at whomever I please (politician, friend or foe) online and get away with it. Especially on social sites where it is so far reaching.

8) Addiction - "My name is Charmaine and I'm an online Scrabble addict".  I can't get enough of the game.  I play it all the time.  My house could be burning down around me and I would need to feed that fix of meeting that 2 minute clock with the biggest word and count possible.  Any online-Scrabble addiction clinics out there?

9) Stalkers and whackos - online is paradise for these mentally and emotionally challenged beings. I've been subjected to the onslaught of some really crazy people and it took me an inordinate amount of time and effort to rid myself of these pests. Ewwww, I still get the creeps just thinking about it.

10) And the big, biggy of all time! I've been an online millionaire in every currency imaginable. I've won the UK lottery, the Canadian lottery, taken the spoils from countless Nigerian pyramid schemes. The latest one being the R95K I won from Nokia in the UK nogal. Man, I've been lucky.

The elephant in the room.

Sometimes the truth will stare one boldly in the face, and yet there are times where one blindly sidesteps it as though it did not exist.  Why do we human's do that?  Could it be that the truth may be so potent that it has the ability to hurt and leave us smarting? Or is it that some of us prefer to remain oblivious to it, thinking that whatever it may be that we are avoiding may eventually go away?

I've had moments where colossal truths have hit me square between the eyes, yet I have continued regardless - neither giving it credence or recognition.  For it was as described before, sometimes so big and so hurtful that to give it the time of day would have meant giving in to the pain that would be sure to follow. Something I was prone to avoid with all my might. But bit by bit, the truth has a way at chipping away at the most hardened of armour.  For the truth will out.  With a force all encompassing, it has no choice other than to rocket towards its intended destiny. For a truth that big, there is no avoidance.  You have to embrace it, give it the attention it deserves and deal with the consequences left in the aftermath of the reveal.

Matric ball - magic or madness?

The excitement, the pressure, the stress, the hype, the expense, the planning, the sleepless nights, the expectations, the anxiety - oh my, does any of this sound familiar? To parents of kids participating in a matric ball, this is an all too familiar scene.  And, yes, it is all of the above and then some.

For one who, for reasons better not mentioned, did not attend her own matric ball there is the sense of living vicariously through my daughter as the anticipation builds for her right of passage.  Both her dad and I are tremendously proud that she has reached this momentous point, and understandably we are excited with her and for her. For any child this is a huge event, it marks the end of a high school journey (and where, as in our case, it has not always been smooth sailing, the significance is that much greater) and also titillates the promise of things to come in the wonderful, yet daunting adult world they are about to enter.

But the madness.  Oh boy, madness lurks supreme in some of the crazy schemes I have seen unfolding as parents (and children caught in the frenzy ) run amok trying to outdo each other in providing grander, more lavish or outlandish (and needless to say astronomically expensive) gowns and regalia for their young chicks.  What is it about matric balls that seems to ignite that overly competitive fuse in some to the point of an explosion that would put a Guy Fawkes fireworks display to shame. From the mode of transport being a coffin on wheels (I kid you not) with a daughter dressed in Godzilla garb and the partner in something even more macabre, to...ok, I can't actually think of anything that could outdo that one. Or maybe I can - one of my daughter's classmates has had liposuction and a brow lift (the kid is 16 for goodness sake, what parent thinks that's ok) to fit into her matric gown and look the part of what she has been pressurised in to believing she should. Where is all this madness going to?!

And then there's my Jami.  No fancy shmancy for this one.  In fact, we bought the material at a knock down price little more than two weeks ago and its being made up to a really simple design by the family dressmaker. Yep, no designer garb here. The shoes, that was bought at a winter sale at a store and price that will have fashionistas weeping in their Pradas. So I did splurge a bit on the jewelry, a princely sum of R265 I'll have you know. Oh, and the 'after party' dress was another R200.  And the best bit, oh you're going to love this, a clutch for R25 at good old Chinatown!  I think her partner's mom actually ended up paying a lot more for his outfit than we have for Jami's. But her premise is based on him doing his matric at a technical college and therefore not having the traditional matric ball on his calendar, therefore compelling her to provide him with what she feels he may miss out on.  To each its own, I guess.

Yet, despite all the crazy angst, I'd be the first to admit that I can't wait for Saturday. Yep, I said it! Nothing takes away from the wonder, joy and sheer magic of your child's matric ball.  Something I recommend to all aspiring parents.  If ever there's a good reason to have a child, the magic of a matric ball ranks way high!!!