My Bridget Jones moment...

As some of you may know (like my many online rants have not laid clue to it) I was recently made redundant.  I hate that word by the way, 'redundant'. It just seems so stagnant and useless.  All of which I am not. Anyway, I've been doing the interview circuit with as much relish as a sodden cucumber relegated to a summer salad.

But I deviate.  The latest interview saw everything going swimmingly.  I made all the right noises at all the right times. Personally, I think interviews are such hogwash because that's what people tend to do. A brilliant PR job on themselves (at least seasoned interviewees like myself).  Hell, how will a prospective employer ever really know if the yarns being spun is anything other than what you say. No amount of Meyers Briggs or any other personality assessment could surely reveal that.

Again, I deviate.  Where was I? Oh yes, the latest interview.  I'm sure I made all the right impressions and then just as the interview was about to conclude (I was there for a full hour by the way - anything over 30 minutes is by my estimation a good sign) and I was about to blow them away with my well rehearsed exit speech, I hear and feel the zip of my skirt give way.  I kid you not, an inordinate breeze starts to chase my rear end as the gap grew alarmingly bigger.  Well, I hastily tried to salvage the situation by putting my one hand on the offending area while shaking the hands of my interviewers with the other. Rather than turn and expose my ample rear to the poor guys, I back tracked my way out the room only to trip over an ill-placed coffee table.  Talk about leaving with a bang!  And that's not all. I kept going in my ungainly fashion and felt the cold glass door smooching my royal rump.  I mean, seriously - why does this shit always happen to me.  Really, this one ranks high up there in 'life's most embarrassing moments'. Bridget Jones, sorry hun - 'you ain't got nuthin on me!'

The statute of limitations has expired on most of childhood trauma

The essence of Dr Gordon Livingston's premise in this instance is that for our lives to have any meaning then we should embrace it in its entirety in the present. That change is an inevitability, but in order to move forward we must be accepting of change and what it entails.  For some childhood was idyllic, for others though it was peppered by trauma. All of which would have some bearing on the adults we would eventually become. To remain trapped in the past though would be giving power to the catalyst or person/s  responsible for the trauma. However awful the trauma, releasing it to the past is when we truly move forward.  And by this I don't mean burying the pain or feelings associated with the trauma, I mean truly letting it go. This is something that's taken me a long time to master, and even now I sometimes come short. But my living my life in the present is more important to me than clinging on to something from old that may have affected my psyche negatively. I have learned that letting go of an experience, emotion or event that did not add value to my life and relegating it to the past where it belongs, is liberating and empowering in the extreme. And that feeling sure as hell supersedes any childhood trauma. That is what I prefer to subscribe to.

Only bad things happen quickly.

This Gordon Livingstone quote suggests that those things that result in happiness take time to develop. If I consider some of the bad things that have happened to me, then it does seem that bad things happen quickly. The rather unsavoury news that I was being made redundant was so quick and unexpected that it hit me for a six.  That one came completely out of left field and had me floored.  There was no way to prepare myself for it either emotionally or other.  When one of my good friends was felled by a heart attack, that too was bad news that shocked me to the core because there was no prolonged and protracted illness leading to his death.  It was quick, instantaneous. The outcome of the series of interviews that I'd gone on for that job I was so convinced was mine.  Then a mere day after the last meeting when I was so sure it was in the bag, the classic, "We're sorry but you were not successful in your application" just didn't gel with the scenario I envisaged. Given my experience, I would then have to agree that bad things do indeed seem to happen quickly.

Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid

If ever there was a saying that would best some up the way I conduct my life then this is it. I've taken my cue from Star Trek (yep, I said it - I'm a huge Trekkie fan) and have 'boldly gone where no man's gone before'. The amazing thing is that when I've thrown caution to the wind and just followed my gut, these notions have often been galvanised by some almost supernatural force. To the extent that when I've successfully realised what I set out to do, that I feel that I may have been guided to that point not only be instinct but by some unknown power. Many think I'm crazy when I tell them that I believe I am protected and those that have gone before have become my guardian angels. That they steer me in directions that I sometimes lack the courage to explore.  Without these forces I know my life would be rudderless, without purpose. I've learned to surrender myself to where my angels wish to take me for they've proven to be able journeymen to my life's path.

My favourite Cat in the Hat book is 'I can read with my eyes shut'; because...

...the book demonstrates to little children how the imagination can be tweaked and images unlocked with the simple act of reading or being read to.  How words can conjure images of  wonder and adventure. That it's possible to close your eyes and let words take you to magical places far away. As an avid reader this book really appealed to me as a kid and could possibly be instrumental in the love I have for reading.  If memory serves me correctly, my mom read it to me for the first time when I was about two and I made her read it over and over.  When I eventually was able to read on my own, it was my first real read - and read it I did until it literally fell apart at the seams. It's such a bummer then that none of my kids share my passion for reading. Notwithstanding me reading a series of Cat-in-the-hats to them as young uns with the hope that the bug would bite. They'd rather watch the movie...now where's the fun in that?!

Conventional is a good fallback position isn't it?

Ya right, if boring is your thing.  For one who finds swimming upstream fun, exciting and exhilarating, conventional would never fly.  But if you into the ordinary and are content with that, then conventional's okay. Complacency is akin to conventional as far as I'm concerned and it's just not something I do well.  It's also just so damn safe.  Again, boring I say!

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time.

In our very busy lives we often go chasing after more than one thing with the hope that we will catch them by the tail and make it ours. The problem with chasing more than one thing is that more often than not you can lose it all or at best end up with only one. It would be a futile chase indeed if the one you catch is the one you'd least want.  Should that happen the less damaging thing to the psyche would be to have some kind of back up plan that could act as a balm and almost a consolation prize of sorts. For there is nothing more deflating than ending up with nothing - especially after a grueling chase that could prove exhausting to say the least. To add insult to injury you may just have nothing to show for all your efforts. But in today's demanding climate, it is almost common practice to have more than one goal as our focus.  In that sense chasing after more than one rabbit would be almost par for the course. Be sure though that you know who your rabbits are so that when you catch them, it will be well worth the chase!