We are afraid of the wrong things.

I have made it my life's mission to rid myself of at least one fear that has held me captive for longer than it deserved.  Bet it one fear a day, a month, a year, a lifetime.  There is no time limit.  For once I have identified the fear it is then possible to meet it head on and kiss its obnoxious and most unwelcome derriere goodbye. 

What then have been the fears to occupy their uninvited guest spots in my glorious life?  Oh, there've been many.  I feared what people would think when I fell pregnant at the tender age of 16 and eventually gave birth to my son soon after my 17th birthday.  I feared the very idea of being a mom.  I feared that all my inabilities and inexperience would show me up for the inadequate mother I was so sure I was then.  I feared what would become of my son knowing that I had not completed my matric and was therefore not able to secure a job of note to support him.  I feared that his dad would drop us.  Gosh I feared so much at that very uncertain time in my life; all of it wrong as none of my fears were realised.

But did that stop any more fears from forming as the years went by?  Hell no!  No sooner had I put one to bed when the next one took its place.  What does that say of me?  Am I governed by fear?  I don't think so.  However, by turning so many on their heads makes me understand that was once a fear could also become the root of a goal.  The fear spurring me on to achieve the goal so that I do not fail either myself or those I hold in high regard.  Make any sense?  Well, to me it does. 

Another fear was that I would never matriculate, go on to higher education - yet I've done that and continue to do so.  Get it now?  My fear was never realised as it became the motivating factor in achieving the goal of getting my National Diploma PR for instance.  And the fear that I would not be able to cope with all five subjects in one year in the quest to obtaining a B.Tech PR.  There again, the wrong fear.  I may not be doing spectacularly but I am coping.  Sometimes just barely, but I'm hanging in there for all that its worth.

So to all those fears that have come and gone:  "Good ridance, but thanks for the time I had with you as it wasn't all bad."  For those that I will no doubt still encounter, "Bring it on - you'll soon be joining the rest of your predecessors anyway!"