Who would have thought way back when that I'd even pick up a book and hit the study trail. The Charmaine I was then would have said, "me, you must be kidding?!" I hated anything even remotely related to academia. The very idea would have sent shivers down my spine and had me heading off on the first ill-baked scheme that came to mind - and believe me when I tell you there were many. My life's mission back then was to live up to the lack of expectations so many had of me. That the adult me now recognises were at the behest of seriously messed up individuals who should have known better.
I am so thankful that through the very many positive influences and events that have crossed my path since my misspent youth, I've been able to turn my life around. To find direction. Purpose. And one of the very many goals I set myself since was to strive towards an education, to broaden both mind and soul. It hasn't always been easy to get there though for there have been many deviations and distractions. In short, life happened in between. A teenage pregnancy, very young marriage, very young divorce, slightly older though still young remarriage (to the same dude, I'll have you know), another pregnancy, countless jobs, softball (of course), relocations, illness (self), illness (parents), death (parents). Gosh the list seems endless, and when I actually see it on paper it kinda puts it into perspective. But fate dictates that they were all necessary beacons on my map of life, all meant to shape and prepare me for whatever may yet come. I look forward to realising my current goal of graduating with a B.Tech in PR. And so what if I graduate at 40-something? That I'll graduate at all will be quite the accomplishment. For now anyway. It puts finger to that young, insecure, rather foolish 16 year old who was so lacking in worth and believed herself capable of so little. Rather, I look to my fast approaching 50's and say "bring it!" That 50-something I see learning to ride a motorbike, backpacking with my main dude across Africa, taking up ballroom dancing again, developing a junior softball team up to national level, doing a Masters in PR. I may yet have to change that title then to, 'So I'll graduate when I'm 50-something'. Mmm...
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