What the hell's wrong with me? I have the most ginormous appetite lately. I wonder if I have a terminal illness or something. But if it were what could it be. Filled with paranoia I've trawled the Net in search of that one ailment that I'm sure will match these insatiable symptoms. The best I could find was 'tapeworm'. Ag no man, I'm royalty for goodness sakes - we don't do worms.
The other possibility was 'pregnant'. No hope of that one either. The closest I could get to being pregnant is maybe in my big toe. The immaculate conception of my big toe. I kinda like the ring to that. Sorry, my wacky humour taking over here.
Seriously man, what could be causing this ridiculous need to guzzle everything in sight? Oh shiza, now it comes to me. I'm a comfort eater. I eat when stressed, disturbed or the emotions are out of sync. Now what could possibly be causing such alarming distress. Let me think - a shitload of college assignments and deadlines, that's what. Custard donuts, yes - ooh lekka. Will my damn stop button just function already!
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