The last lecture.

My life has been a series of ever-evolving lessons. Lessons taught and learned from amazing people who have been both mentor and ally. It has been a journey where lecturers have imparted invaluable wisdoms and learnings that have fortified the cache I delve into when life throws some of its unexpected curve-balls my way. The lectures have been many, the lecturers even more so. God-willing, they will continue to present themselves as I continue on the path towards my final destination. For it is only at that time that will I take heed of the final lecture; when my final call comes, when I close my eyes to what I hope has been a remarkable life, one that I will be happy to leave my earth body to. For only then, will that final lecture have true meaning.

Why softball?

I get asked this question often. For me it's pretty simple. It's something I have to do. It's something that feeds my soul, the core of my being. Ever since I was first introduced to the game as a snot-nosed nine year old by a much loved aunt, I've been mesmerised. I love how through the sport I have formed and continue to develop life-long relationships with some pretty amazing people; how the discipline learned has influenced my thinking in so many other spheres, how it has aided in shaping me as a person; how it provides a platform for young children to reach greater potential - kids who if left to their own devices would otherwise succumb to society's ills; how it teaches that team work is much more effective than singular efforts; how it checks out of kilter egos; how it makes me feel alive; how it allows me to make a difference in a way that matters; how it provides a sense of accomplishment when a hard-won skill is finally mastered; how it brings people and even countries together; how it has a home for comic moments (and there are many, the first photo being testimony to how crazy and absurd it can become); how it rewards those deserving; how new rules and regulations keep emerging and evolving to make it a better sport, and the list goes on. Softball has always played such an integral part in my life, that it would be unthinkable to even imagine an existence without it. For what is life without softball?  Oh God, take me now before that happens as a life without the beautiful game would be inconceivable.

My big fat Big dream.

My dream is not just big and fat, it's obese! But in a good way (if obese can ever be good). I dream of starting my own PR and events management company and I feed that dream as only an overindulgent parent can.  I've been studying for close to a decade to have the necessary qualifications that will lend credibility to the dream.  For the more fertiliser I add to the mulch, the more I am guaranteed a crop of outstanding quality. Ripe for the picking. And pick they will! Soon, very soon my big fat dream will be realised and when it does I will live the dream with all the gusto the years of preparation has afforded. Hopefully then there will be room for another big fat dream to take its place. One that will be equally, if not more spectacular; and one that will need as much nurturing and attention as its predecessor did. But one that will gladly take centre stage when its cue is called.

The legendary masala steak & egg toasted sarmie (aka The Fix)

Anyone who's ever experienced that horrid, green feeling (aka the dreaded hangover) borne from a night of overindulgence, will know that there is only one sure quick fix - a slap up, greasy breakfast followed in quick succession by a petrol bomb (aka a Jive 2 litre). Okay, anyone that's Coloured that is (sjoe I can just see the PC brigade klapping me down with this one). But this is how my people have been doing it for years and gone on to tell many a 'hair-of-the dog' tale, but inevitably it all boils down to 'The Fix' - a masala steak and egg sarmie with everything.  Everything, being slap chips, salads and that special sauce. All this towered together between two toasted slices of white bread (sorry, but brown bread just won't cut it for the purposes intended). And don't forget to include that 2 litre petrol bomb, for how else are you going to wash this magical concoction down. All this to be had as soon as the first dodge takeaway joint opens. You know, about the time when the shakes meets Japie (this could get vile so I'm going to limit the description to being 'sea-sick'). Where then would you find 'The Fix' - well, having tested quite a few places (for research purposes obviously) I would have to say that The Farmstall in Ottery stands unrivaled. Man, they make a mean 'Fix'.  Don't believe me? Next time you have a need for a hangover cure, give it a shot.  Ons praat weer.

To the manor born.

"It's a dog's life" - often said with derision, as if it's bad, lowly or downright shitty. This pundit would therefore have no meaning for our Mr Bean - zero, zilch.  Rather, if the truth be known Mr Bean has a life of sheer indulgence, decadence and unimaginable luxury. I would sooner go without to ensure Mr Bean has that outfit that "he simply must have because this is so Bean". In fact, the non-existence budget gets shifted and shafted so that Bean gets fed only the best puppy food, rests his lovely head in a crib fit for a prince and has enough toys to ward off boredom. Why? Because that's what the vet said and my countless research on pugs has recommended. Remarkably, my husband has bought into this madness.  This from a man who is usually strong-willed and not easily swayed by that he deems fickle or frivolous. But Bean is our proverbial "laat lametjie".  You know, that one that comes late in life and rather unexpectantly takes up a big portion of your heart, and before you know it good reason flies out the window and you find yourself doing things that you would not ordinarily do. In our defense, I can however say that Mr Bean is the beneficiary of the unadulterated attention and time our earlier years of parenting did not allow.  Where those earlier times were taken up with trying hard not to kill our two elder kids with newly learned, yet dubious parenting skills, stressful and exhausting jobs and a myriad of activities that kept us on the merry-go-round of our life back then; we're now more restful and able to give our youngest more of ourselves.  Youngest? Of course, Bean is our youngest child. I look into those soulful, bulbous eyes and see a remarkable resemblance to his dad. Not to mention some of the familial quirks and characteristics - he snores just like his father, has a wicked sense of humour like his mom, farts up a storm like his brother and is quick to affection like his sister.  Yep, Mr Bean is definitely part of the Royal Raisin Clan and like anyone of regal bearing will know, he is without question 'to the manor born'.

Sleep...what's that?!

I swear I cannot be held responsible for what I do anymore. My defense? I have not had a full night's sleep since...oh, let me think...1987.  I kid you not - I refer to my whacked out state as 'LAH-T-H (Life After Harry-The-Helicopter)'.  Now you may be thinking, "who the hell is Harry".  Well, Harry's that unwelcome guest that only the sleep deprived have the bad fortune to have as resident in their non-existent z-land.  My Harry, aka as 'the husband', takes off without fail as soon as his head hits his zzzz-pad and sticks to his flight plan with stubborn zeal that no amount of thumping, pushing, prodding or a wrench shoved between his blades will cause him to deviate. No sirree, Harry flies, er snores, while I listen to the continuous drone that does my head in until I can take it no longer and reluctantly rise from the warmth of my bed to do arb things like write this blog. And the cheek of it all is that right on schedule each morning, he wakes up and says, "I didn't snore last night love, so you probably slept well". In my mind I go: "do I kill him now or later?!" I've done my research - in the State vs Cohen 1956, the defendant got off on a murder charge based on the premise of temporary insanity. Okay, so I made that up and am just kidding around (then again, I'm sleep deprived, maybe I'm not).

When you're her age, (over 80) what will matter to you most?

I'm going to turn this one on its head a bit, and make it 'when you at the end of your life, what will matter to you most?' and it is based on a conversation I had with my mom when she was on her death bed and had an urgent need to impart her final lesson to me. She expressed her intense sorrow at not having lived her life more in the way she would have preferred rather than the way she felt was expected.  It was so sad to see the one I knew to be so vital looking so crushed and defeated.  More so when she let me in to that pit of regrets as she knew the sands to her hourglass were running empty and there was no way she could do it differently. Nothing short of a miracle that is to give her that one gift she knew she would never have again - time.  Time to take long, leisurely walks on those foreign shores she passed through in her many travels, time to relish and not hurry those moments with loved ones, time to dance more, time to savour a joyous moment and not worry about anything else, time to be more feminine, time to let romance balm her soul, time to educate herself so that we would be more proud of her, time to live in the moment and just be, time to be a better mother, wife, sister than she thought she had been, time, time, time. She pulled me closer and rasped that if there's one thing I take from her, and try and make more of it is time. I feel that I fail her at times, even though I try hard to honour that promise extracted under such dire circumstances, and when I do I catch myself - for the one thing I know after seeing the life ebb away from my mom, is that when our time is expired it can never be retrieved. I can only hope that my consolation prize at the end of it all would be to have lived a life that mattered, where I can close the book to my earth life with satisfaction and contentment.

And here they are...

images of that moment in time when my daughter became the princess of her personal fairy tale. The night was filled with tenderness, joy and magic that will remain with her for a long while. Images that will remind her of how special she is not just to me but those who hold her dear. I am therefore understandably proud and hope that you take as much delight from these few pics as I did in the planning and creativity that led to the culmination of Jami's night of wonder.  Enjoy!

 

Why I have conversations?

So that the very many opinions I have can have a voice, would be the most compelling reason. For I believe it would be futile to have an opinion if there is no outlet or channel to direct it through. And the response to that voice is how a conversation is born.  To engage with someone else in this way stimulates the senses. It allows for similar thinking or differences of opinion to be leveraged off a conversational platform where people engage through the spoken or written word.  I love that connections are formed and relationships can develop through this basic element of human interaction. The flip side however would be when emotions run riot and the conversation becomes poisoned by negative feelings taking precedence over good sense. Where the conversation is peppered with aggression and destruction to the point where it is best for those involved to still the voices within that have given vent to the voices that out. For then conversation serves no good purpose and it is best that the silent voice be left to speak greater volumes in its contained vessel.

Which activities make you lose track of time?

My list keeps building, but to give you an idea here are a few that come to mind:

1) A romantic, satirical or funny book
2) Sitcoms/Series (Grey's Anatomy, Prison Break, The Good Wife, Brothers & Sisters, Men in Trees, etc)
3) Softball (playing or watching it)
4) On-line Scrabble
5) Social media (Facebook, Twitter, blogging, G-chat, etc)
6) Catching a good movie
7) Soaking up those first rays after a bleak winter
8) Spending time with friends and family
9) Cooking up a storm to be enjoyed by family/friends
10) Dancing
11) Daydreaming
12) Shoe shopping (this one can make me lose more than a sense of time, my mind has been known to be lost in the process)

If not now, then when?

This one's made for me, the queen of procrastination! If there is something that I can put off for another day, another time, then believe me I will. Especially those things that I think of as cumbersome or laborious, or just downright boring.  And I will come up with every conceivable reason as to why it cannot be done right now.  The reasons are plentiful and some have become legendary:  "it's too hot; I'm tired; because, just because (yep, I've been known to cite that as a reason); I need to pack the linen cupboard before I can get to that ('cos that's important, right); gotta watch Project Runway, I have restless leg syndrome (I kid you not, said that once) etc, etc". The strangest thing is that I'm the first to lament the supposed time constraints of my insanely busy life. This despite being given advance notice of some two months for that assignment that's due this evening for instance. What the hell is wrong with me? Why, oh why do I continue to put this absurd pressure on myself?! Oh, the classic "I work best under pressure" is the rejoinder I will proffer when pushed.  For how else would I explain this madness.

Are you aware that someone has it worse than you do?

This blog proved to be my most humbling. Too often I am caught up in the things I think I don't have without stopping for long enough to appreciate the very many blessings that I do have.  Of greater horror, scant regard is given to those who are so much worse off; those who would consider themselves wealthy beyond measure with my trove of treasures.  And though some may say I am lacking and somewhat decrepit on the material scale, what I have in other areas of my life far outweighs the supposed impoverishment in that sphere. There are so many who through no fault of their own have been born to dire circumstances and face a daily struggle to have the basic fundamentals necessary for survival. Things that those of better means take for granted - food to ease hunger pains that only those who have been their know the full extent of, water to quench a thirst so profound, shelter to ward off the elements, clothing to shield from weather so harsh, money, oh all these and more.  I say again, I am humbled to shame. Shame for thinking that I have it bad when there are those who have it so much worse. To those who despite their hardships carry their formidable load with such incredible dignity, I bow before you!

The calm after the ball...

There's a rather somber stillness that's set in now that the dust of the matric ball madness has settled.  Almost an anti-climax for some, for others like myself it's a welcome calm. No more run around to get that exact shade of green for the dress that though of simple design proved somewhat difficult to produce (something to do with the material that kept hooking); finding earrings to match the neck-piece, the last minute dash to the pharmacy for false eyelashes to replace the set I bought previously because it did not have glue; making sure the guests at the pre-dance gathering remained relatively sober so they would not think the dress was the target for their overly exuberant good wishes; basically nothing to do but bask in the after glow of a wonderful event that went off rather well despite the glitches mentioned.  I'm as pleased as punch I'll have you know - for this was quite the feat to pull off.  What with being unemployed and funds being dismally low and all.  Anyone who was witness to my daughter's matric ball would have been none the wiser as she and her partner looked the part - she lived her dream and by all accounts was the belle of the ball.  For her to have had that, makes all the effort that went before more than worth it.  Here's to you, my special Jami - clink, clink!

Check out the weekly offerings from my softball alter ego, 'Ballgirl-2-the-T'

Having recently given birth to our new baby, I am understandably as proud as any parent can be after such a momentous event.  We urge you to have a look at the weekly offerings from Titans Softball Club.  Each week yours truly will regale you with tidbits and tipples as our young 'un continues to develop into what we hope will be quite the contender in the softball fraternity. Hope you enjoy.  P.S. - feel free to comment as you see fit.  http://ballgirl2thet.blogspot.com/

Do you celebrate the things you do have?

Not nearly as much as I should. I am guilty of sometimes succumbing to that national past time of bemoaning all the 'should haves' and 'could haves' rather than expend the same amount of energy on what 'I do have'. When last have I taken the time to count the very many blessing that have been bestowed on me, things that I take for granted and carelessly relegate to that basket that keeps filling up with the "I'll look at that tomorrow". That I am arrogant enough to believe that another "tomorrow" will automatically follow is testimony to the scant regard I have for those things that are worthy of celebration. Things like the abundant love and support I am surrounded with from family and friends; the promise that each new day brings; the stumpy, dimpled legs that I'm convinced is God's whacky humour playing itself out - but nevertheless is testimony to the fact that I can walk, run, dance and play where many cannot; the good health I enjoy, the material wealth (well by the standards of those less fortunate, I would be regarded as wealthy); the sporting accomplishments; and oh, so much more.  No, I certainly have not celebrated any of these in the way they deserve to be.  So my resolution from here on is to do just that, celebrate what I have with relish and style.

Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Like the rain that falls from the sky to wash away dirt and waste, so too are the tears that cleanse the soul.  So often we harbour hurts and pain for way longer than we should.  These negative forces churn away inside us and fester to a cancerous, bitter mess that harms not just our psyche but becomes fodder for physical ills. Unleashing those feelings with a good old sob leaves one feeling refreshed and so much lighter, allowing the warmth of positivity to flow in unchecked. For giving in to an ebb of tears is letting go of emotional gunk that blocks the channels of happiness that would rather be resident.  A sign of weakness?  Hell no, it is the weak who lack the stamina or courage to rid themselves of unnecessary baggage. It is the weak who will lumber along, dragging their heavily ladden souls through the quagmire of pessimism they surround themselves with. Those of strength on the other hand will stand up courageously in the face of life's challenges and cry an ocean to stand free. It is the strong that know that crying whether happy or sad, is a show of courage - the courage to have the whole world witness to what is in effect an emotion they are willing to embrace and let go of if necessary.

Write your bucket list / 100 things to do before you die?

1. Take that trip to Europe to explore the sights and for nothing but pleasure (the last time was to tend to a drastically ill sibling)
2. Start my own PR and Events Management consultancy
3. See my kids settled and happy in their adult life
4. Be the coolest gran (I'm hoping I'll be blessed with a gaggle)
5. Buy a Harley and learn to ride it
6. Go on breakfast runs with a pack of equally gung-ho Harley Grans
7. Stay in a pleasurable moment for longer and not worry about the millions of 'constructive and productive things' I imagine I should rather be doing
8. Get that B.Tech
9. Think about further studies once I've taken time out to recharge my batteries
10. Try at least one new thing per month that is for my personal delight
11. Really, really appreciate that I come first before all else
12. Rid myself of this hacking cough
13. Master first base (softball)
14. Forget about the love handles, lumps, bumps and wrinkles that have crept up over time and appreciate that they tell the story of my life well-lived
15. Never lose sight of the importance of love, kindness and warmth of spirit
16. Take Ballroom and Latin American classes
17. Buy a camper and tour Africa
18. Pay up the bond and live a life that is financially secure and stress free
19. Live more in the moment
20. Play in the rain
21. Indulge myself more

Like my life, this is a project in the making.  This list will continue to grow as my life takes new directions and I develop with each turn and twist. Watch this space...

What makes you smile?

The sun caressing my freckled nose. Warm, crunchy white sand squelching between my toes on the river bank of the majestic Elephant's River. The sight of my son as he comes through the terminal on his return from yet another long spell away from home. Random acts of kindness and the effect they have on the people being bestowed on.  Hot chocolate with a dollop of ice cream. A fire and accompanying glass of port to warm the cockles of my heart on a dreary winter's night. A good novel that I can escape in for a short while. My daughter's delightful laugh. The sound of Harry-the-Helicopter (aka my husband) taking off on yet another flight plan - it means he's alive and hasn't been felled by the ills that plague him. The look of pride on my family's faces when I walked up to the stage to receive my diploma in PR. Waking up to the promise of a brand new day. Bumping into what used to be a supposed 'hottie' who was just downright nasty and snubbed me way back when, looking rather bedraggled and anything but hot now (so I can be small-minded and smug too, get over it). The smell of one of my hubby's legendary steaks sizzling on a braai as it wafts through our home. Precious family time where all we do is just chillax and savour each other's company. Watching the mist rolling over the ocean from the deck at our special place in Betty's Bay. Catching the punch line to a particularly funny joke. My husband surprising me with a romantic gesture just when I was about to bemoan our flagging relationship.

Of all the forms of courage the ability to laugh is the most...

compelling! That would be the only way to complete that sentence.  I have found that laughter has offered so many elements to an otherwise ordinary life.  Where there has been strife, laughter has been the balm to let that dark, painful moment fade into obliteration. Where there has been joy, laughter has been the effervescent titillation to announce its pleasure. Where there has been celebration, laughter took up welcome residence. To prioritise laughter as an order of necessity in my life, has been the wisest and bravest choice taken. Without it my life would be somewhat meaningless.  Since I've been given this one shot at life, and don't treat it as a dress rehearsal, I am serious about ensuring laughter hogs the spotlight throughout my production. Paradoxical - serious about laughter? Maybe. But I remain true to the conviction that laughter is all essential to my very existence. To play on Shakespeare's "If music be the food of life", I will take literary liberty and say "If laughter be the food of life, play on."

How hard is it to follow instructions?

Easy you might think. But, if you anything like me who has the attention span of a gnat, then the basic concept of following instructions is anything but easy. My officially diagnosed ADHD may have some bearing here.  I really do have a problem with focusing my attention on any given thing for longer than a few seconds before my mind does its habitual orbit into cyberspace.  See, I'm already there - I rest my case completely.

I would be reading the first few words of an instruction and off I would go on a tangent with so much energy and vooma aimed at what I assume the task at hand should be. But boy, oh boy, do I get it wrong ever so often. So, short of popping a Ritalin pill a minute, I have come to train my overly active mind to still itself  for that fraction of a second, to breath deeply, to close my eyes and then open them slowly and then, only then take in the content before moving ahead. Works for me!

Andy Warhol said, "In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes."

I don't think Andy Warhol realised how prophetic that statement would be when first uttered back in the late sixties.  With the rising popularity of reality shows almost anybody and its dog seem to be hogging their 15 minutes of fame on the telly these days. The Kardashians - nobody knew who these people were until their reality show became an omnipresent feature of our lives.  A classic case of being famous for being famous.  And there are a shitload of similar shows that seem to have gripped the attention of people the world over.

Why would I be world famous? Though the choice may not be mine, I would like to believe that if I could be famous for a mere fifteen minutes then it would have to be for making a difference, small though it may be, but I truly do believe that I can. The wealth of spirit and kindness that I possess within, when espoused to my fellow beings may yet make the world of difference in their lives.  To be famous for that would be the proverbial cherry on top to living a life that matters.

A skill set called leadership.

Are leaders born or developed? This has always intrigued me as I believe that a bit of both applies.  Some people have natural leadership skills, and yet there are those who can be trained to develop leadership skills to the point where they could function as able leaders.  But great leaders, now that's something else. One site lists the following skills as being essential to being an outstanding leader:


Ten Basic Skills of Outstanding Leadership


• Integrity
• Vision/strategy
• Communication
• Relationships
• Persuasion
• Adaptability
• Teamwork
• Coaching and Development
• Decision-making
• Planning

And I would have to agree.  A great leader will encompass all of the above in his/her leadership skills base to be most effective when guiding a team or workforce towards predefined goals. A great leader not only embodies these skills but lives them and thereby is an active example of what good leadership is about. In my opinion the greatest leader I've encountered has to be former president Nelson Mandela.  I know it's become almost cliche to use our beloved Madiba as an example, but he stands head and shoulders about anyone else in this sense, and remains the one person I most strive to emulate.

"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read" (Frank Zappa)

What utter shit! Sorry, but this one really got my goat up. What an arrogant, ridiculous statement. Any journalist worth his/her salt will succeed in gripping the interest of a reader through a well-written piece where all the journalism principles that apply would have been incorporated prior to the material going to print. By denigrating the efforts of rock journalism implies that rock journalists are lesser beings, and horror of horrors aim their work at people who are even lesser still.  Like journalists in any other realm, rock journalists have to know their onions for their efforts to be believable and well received by their rocker audience.  So the next time some idiot thinks they can castigate rock journalists willy-nilly, I say "to hell with them, rock journalism rocks the world of rockers - big time"!!!!

List your top 200 achievements.

Really?! Top 200 achievements - now this is going to prove challenging I thought as I stumbled onto this blog topic. Wouldn't it come across as being rather boastful? But then again, why not? We humans are so good at pointing out our myriads of faults and failings and seem to have very few qualms of doing so in even a public sense. In fact, the denigration of achievements rather than the celebration of such has become a national past time.  So, I am heartened to be able to document my top 200 (though it could be said that I don't think I will come even close to that figure since my life is ever-evolving and my path is set to clock up many more as I continue on my journey). But, for the sake of posterity here are some tidbits that rank high thus far.

1) Being wily enough to guide a certain egg cell towards a certain sperm that ensured the creation of wonderful me. My being born has meant the world is a better place. LOL
2) Marrying my soul mate and bestest (for my own purposes, not spelled incorrectly) friend
3) The birth of my own two wonderful children
3) Maintaining childhood friendships into my adult life
4) Not only successfully achieving the National Diploma in PR but doing so Cum Laude (even though I had to fight for that one due to an oversight at CPUT)
5) Letting my world understand that I matter
6) Making myself understand that I matter
7) Hosting big events successfully (putting these babies together is no mean feat)
8) Starting and developing a softball team
9) Playing softball at age 43 (you have no idea how big this one is, what with a much maligned body that stubbornly refuses to co-operate)
10) Having the stamina and the will to continue studying
11) Being made head girl at high school
12) Standing proud and not denying my child when said head girl badge was removed after it was discovered I was a teenage mom (up to now the finger still goes up when I think of that conversation with that pompous, judgmental principal and her staff who thought I was a bad example to my fellow school mates)
13) Getting my driver's licence (shame the poor driving instructor was a candidate for a heart transplant after the ordeal I put him through)
14) Receiving the Chairman's Award at the Vikings 2011 Softball Presentation
15) Receiving numerous other awards in the softball fraternity over the years
16) Being a member of the LOC for the Junior Softball World Cup scheduled for later this year
17) Getting to grips with social media to the point where I am now an active tweeple and blogmeister
18) Forming a word in on-line Scrabble with total points of 145
19) Setting the platform for a life filled with simple pleasures
20) My girls' network (they've seen me through many a dark patch and celebrated my joys and achievements with equal gusto)
21) Making my parents proud of me (sadly, they've passed on but knowing that I can tick off the above list is testimony to all they've instilled in me)

What motivates me?

Oo, this is a goody! There's so much that can be said for I am a highly motivated person.  But what really gets my buzz up? Well, let me list them - 'cos that's the other thing, I'm big on lists:

1) Seeing the joy that unfolds when people are kind to their fellow man
2) The well being and security of my family
3) The need to feed my ever-inquiring mind
4) Being inventive with my very busy schedule to secure that precious (and mostly elusive) 'me time'
5) That feeling of satisfaction after completing a particularly difficult assignment
6) Getting good grades
7) Ensuring my children understand and appreciate the value of a good education
8) Traveling and exploring new places, people and cultures (setting a goal of visiting at least one new place a year)
9) Instilling values, morals and a sense of tolerance and respect for others in my kids and seeing them apply that successfully to their everyday lives
10) Being a good example to my kids based on point 9
11) The idea that I can make a difference to not only my own existence but to the lives of those I engage with
12) Lazy Sundays with my family
13) Awareness and active involvement in my world
14) Financial security
15) Emotional growth and development of self
16) The blessing and gift of each new day (just waking up to a new day is inspiration enough - I think when you've come closing to losing it more than once, you have a whole new take on the meaning of life and how precious it is)
17) Simple acts of love
18) Love songs
19) Food (oh, I'm a sucker for good food)
20) Friends and family (nurturing the bonds that are formed with people who add meaning to my life)
21) Humour, the balm to my soul
22) Chocolate (ok, maybe that could fall under food - but I think it deserves its own point 'cos that little velvety yum-yum can motivate me to do far more than the other points combined)

Okay, I'm going to stop now before I get carried away.  And believe me, there is a real possibility of that happening.

Write a list: the 10 most unexpected consequences of being online.

Sjoe, this one had me going for a while. My first take on it was that the benefits or disadvantages should be pretty obvious so why even get into it. With more headscratching though I realised my initial thoughts were rather arrogant and there was more to it than I thought.  What was also interesting was that my list kept on growing longer and longer and documenting just the required 10 did not even begin to give justice to the topic. So here's my ten (cents) worth:

1) Removing that hair-pulling frustration of having to stand in endless queues at banks or the lines of creditors, ranks way up there as a big plus.  What a joy to deal with transactions and payments at the mere push of a button.  Orgasmic, I tell you.

2) Oh, and finding those so-called 'long lost friends and family' on social media sites - you know the ones, those 'hotties' from high school or some other purposefully forgotten walk of life who were too damn beautiful, clever, or popular for their own good (least of all yours), that us lesser mortals at the time were told were destined to be the next best thing.  Well, here's the thing - those 'hotties' we discover from looking at their pics and profiles are now the 'notties'.  Yes, there is a God!

3) A big downer is the ever-growing number of corporates out there that ply their trade online and insist on bombarding us with their many products and services, regardless of whether we want or welcome them.  There's no getting rid of these buggers.  Not even the CPA can keep this consumer ill at bay.

4) My other pet hate are those annoying chain mails. If I get another email telling me how my luck will change or how I am guaranteed to win some amazing prize if I pass the offending scribe on to 10, 20 or even more unsuspecting people, I can not be held responsible for my actions!

5) Being able to contact friends and family at the mere flick of a switch far outweighs any downers though.  For one with a son who is far away from home for 7 of 12 months each year, having Skype, email, or other social networks as a means of connecting with him is invaluable. Even having an online skinder with my daughter at the hairdresser is such a pleasure.  How else will we get to make fun of the 'ouma Issie's' and 'nuttos' we encounter on these little excursions of ours?!

6) The cloak of anonymity when used online can be a double-edged sword though.  I am constantly amazed by the very many outrageous thoughts and deeds floating around in cyberspace.  Some of it hilarious.  However, the sparkle loses its glare though when insidious means are propagated behind a devilish cloak. People have castigated others on line, been cowardly enough not to take ownership and the consequences in some instances have been dire, and even deadly in others.

7) Freedom of Speech - oh, I love this one.  Despite, loads of threats of laws to protect both communicators and audiences, how on earth will there ever be a way to ensure that happens?! Come on, get real. Must say that I love that I can take the piss at whomever I please (politician, friend or foe) online and get away with it. Especially on social sites where it is so far reaching.

8) Addiction - "My name is Charmaine and I'm an online Scrabble addict".  I can't get enough of the game.  I play it all the time.  My house could be burning down around me and I would need to feed that fix of meeting that 2 minute clock with the biggest word and count possible.  Any online-Scrabble addiction clinics out there?

9) Stalkers and whackos - online is paradise for these mentally and emotionally challenged beings. I've been subjected to the onslaught of some really crazy people and it took me an inordinate amount of time and effort to rid myself of these pests. Ewwww, I still get the creeps just thinking about it.

10) And the big, biggy of all time! I've been an online millionaire in every currency imaginable. I've won the UK lottery, the Canadian lottery, taken the spoils from countless Nigerian pyramid schemes. The latest one being the R95K I won from Nokia in the UK nogal. Man, I've been lucky.

The elephant in the room.

Sometimes the truth will stare one boldly in the face, and yet there are times where one blindly sidesteps it as though it did not exist.  Why do we human's do that?  Could it be that the truth may be so potent that it has the ability to hurt and leave us smarting? Or is it that some of us prefer to remain oblivious to it, thinking that whatever it may be that we are avoiding may eventually go away?

I've had moments where colossal truths have hit me square between the eyes, yet I have continued regardless - neither giving it credence or recognition.  For it was as described before, sometimes so big and so hurtful that to give it the time of day would have meant giving in to the pain that would be sure to follow. Something I was prone to avoid with all my might. But bit by bit, the truth has a way at chipping away at the most hardened of armour.  For the truth will out.  With a force all encompassing, it has no choice other than to rocket towards its intended destiny. For a truth that big, there is no avoidance.  You have to embrace it, give it the attention it deserves and deal with the consequences left in the aftermath of the reveal.

Matric ball - magic or madness?

The excitement, the pressure, the stress, the hype, the expense, the planning, the sleepless nights, the expectations, the anxiety - oh my, does any of this sound familiar? To parents of kids participating in a matric ball, this is an all too familiar scene.  And, yes, it is all of the above and then some.

For one who, for reasons better not mentioned, did not attend her own matric ball there is the sense of living vicariously through my daughter as the anticipation builds for her right of passage.  Both her dad and I are tremendously proud that she has reached this momentous point, and understandably we are excited with her and for her. For any child this is a huge event, it marks the end of a high school journey (and where, as in our case, it has not always been smooth sailing, the significance is that much greater) and also titillates the promise of things to come in the wonderful, yet daunting adult world they are about to enter.

But the madness.  Oh boy, madness lurks supreme in some of the crazy schemes I have seen unfolding as parents (and children caught in the frenzy ) run amok trying to outdo each other in providing grander, more lavish or outlandish (and needless to say astronomically expensive) gowns and regalia for their young chicks.  What is it about matric balls that seems to ignite that overly competitive fuse in some to the point of an explosion that would put a Guy Fawkes fireworks display to shame. From the mode of transport being a coffin on wheels (I kid you not) with a daughter dressed in Godzilla garb and the partner in something even more macabre, to...ok, I can't actually think of anything that could outdo that one. Or maybe I can - one of my daughter's classmates has had liposuction and a brow lift (the kid is 16 for goodness sake, what parent thinks that's ok) to fit into her matric gown and look the part of what she has been pressurised in to believing she should. Where is all this madness going to?!

And then there's my Jami.  No fancy shmancy for this one.  In fact, we bought the material at a knock down price little more than two weeks ago and its being made up to a really simple design by the family dressmaker. Yep, no designer garb here. The shoes, that was bought at a winter sale at a store and price that will have fashionistas weeping in their Pradas. So I did splurge a bit on the jewelry, a princely sum of R265 I'll have you know. Oh, and the 'after party' dress was another R200.  And the best bit, oh you're going to love this, a clutch for R25 at good old Chinatown!  I think her partner's mom actually ended up paying a lot more for his outfit than we have for Jami's. But her premise is based on him doing his matric at a technical college and therefore not having the traditional matric ball on his calendar, therefore compelling her to provide him with what she feels he may miss out on.  To each its own, I guess.

Yet, despite all the crazy angst, I'd be the first to admit that I can't wait for Saturday. Yep, I said it! Nothing takes away from the wonder, joy and sheer magic of your child's matric ball.  Something I recommend to all aspiring parents.  If ever there's a good reason to have a child, the magic of a matric ball ranks way high!!!